Growing up in a culture where openly LGBTQ characters could be counted on one hand, Queers were once forced to read between the lines to find representation. In the spirit of code-breaking, I present... 

How Gay Is It?

Sonic the Hedgehog

Before we get into the long grass of Sonic’s sexuality, it needs to be stated that Tails, his yellow friend (cousin? housemate?) is definitely gay. This is a truth universally acknowledged. I’ve seen it confirmed on a t-shirt - and not some Redbubble hack job, I’m talking about a legit storefront experience. But do we expect to see any pointy same-sex romance in their country (land? kingdom?) In case you hadn’t noticed I don’t know very much about Sonic and I shan’t look anything up.

The low hanging fruit here is obviously Sonic’s proclivity for rings. This unashamedly Freudian symbol can of course represent eternity and abundance but I can’t help but feel there is a deeper meaning.

Perhaps it’s his excitement for power clashing sneakers and, by extension, his ambivalence for any other form of clothing. His reckless cannon-balling through a geographically unlikely landscape does remind me of my own misguided ricocheting through friends and lovers on the gay scene - and yes, I also shunned clothing for most of that experience. 

I haven’t seen the movie because, frankly, I forgot, but the whole unholy abomination that was cinematic Sonic version 1.0 does tell us that he is not opposed to working on himself or completely redesigning his face with the miracle of modern science. Also, he hangs out with James Marsden and frankly, girl, GET IT.

Now available as a playable character on Smash Brothers, Sonic’s signature move appears to be throwing himself off the platform as quickly as possible. Coincidently, this is a dance move everyone who has been to ARQ at 4am on a Sunday morning is profoundly familiar with.

Despite his exuberance and journey of personal growth, Sonic’s position within the gay pantheon is still unclear. Lightning blue is a difficult colour to accessorise and his belligerently cheeky attitude doesn’t scream ‘years of self-doubt and oppression’. But if we assume he’s a total top his obsession with collecting rings makes sense.

Kinsey Scale: 4 white gloves in the middle of summer.
Could he be gayer? Put him in a backwards cap and we’re done here.